Is it too late to find a monastery with a happy hour?
Howdy folks,
As some of you might know, i have been single for a few months.
My former girlfriend decided to move back to California to help her family open a business. That was a little over four months ago. The past few years of my life had been dedicated to my chosen career, which kept me away from home for lengthy amounts of time, which made the task of maintaining any sort of relationship with the opposite sex nearly impossible. I tried. I failed. I tried again. I failed again. Ad infinitum. I've had very good experiences, and very bad experiences. I had one in particular that went horribly wrong. (we will call her "Fruit Loop". Trust me...She's earned the nickname.) She left me for a friend, who ironically is still someone i count as a friend (we will call him "The Other Dude"). She's long gone from him as well, but we both see her on a regular basis in a social setting...But i digress.
So i finally decided that since the constant travel is no longer an issue, perhaps it was time to "get off the bench and get back into the game." I felt that i had waited an appropriate time since Amber had left, got my mind right, and that i was prepared to dive headlong into the fray. My target was someone who i have known briefly, but was attracted to on more than a physical level. A nice woman who is a little out of my league on an academic level. She's just finishing her masters, and is preparing to go to London to work on her PHD.
She's a nice girl, with a very sharp wit and a sarcastic sense of humor. (which in my book holds a lot of water). I was racking my brain to figure out a creative way to ask her out. She beat me to the punch. She asked ME out! Not that i had a problem with it. I found it flattering. I was intrigued. It also 180'ed the dynamic. As we all know, the traditional method is for the guy to ask the girl out, get the phone number, and plan the evening. With a fair amount of input from her of course. Nobody wants to get stuck doing something they despise on a first date. I have to admit, it did throw me off my game a bit though. She invited me to a "Texas independance Day" BBQ that some friends were throwing. Brisket flown in from Abilene, and Shiner Bock all around. Two of the few things i actually like about the Republic of Texas. Hell yeah!
So we go the BBQ. The evening started out well enough. Scarfing down smoked brisket and beans, and listening to good old Texas swing music. So far so good. The party was thrown by some folks from her neighborhood who know her family very well. There has been some serious and very recent probelms with her parents as of late, and it looks like their 30+ yr is headed off into the sunset. Obviously it's a touchy subject for her, which i can understand. So nautrally her folks aren't in attendance. So also naturally everybody starts asking her where they are. Which made her extremely uncomfortable. I suggest we go outside and have a smoke. She agrees. We go outside, light up, and start talking. I suggest that maybe she's feeling like maybe we should blow this pop stand. She agrees. So i start thinking of a suitable "plan B". While i'm racking my brain trying to figure out what we can go do, my phone rings. It's the Other Dude. He wants to know what i'm up to. I tell him the situation, and he suggests meeting up with him and another friend to have some coffee and formulate some kind of plan of attack for the evening. For some reason, i totally forget a cardinal rule of dating. Third and fourth wheels don't mix on a first date. I ask her if she's game. She says she is. So off we go to ye olde coffee shop.
We meet up with the dude and his associate. The realization that i violated a cardinal rule just hits me. I'm sitting there talking to the Dude and Guess who rolls into the coffee shop... Yep, you guessed it. The Fruit Loop! Turns out she's friends with my date.
HOLY SHIT! I'm boned!
So they run off for some girly talk, which takes about 45 minutes. The Other Dude informs me that they're going to head over to a club to get their drink on. Fine by me. So now i'm sitting there by myself, sweating bullets, wondering what the fuck those two are discussing. Turns out i was the subject of the conversation. (no suprise eh?) They come back and i get a text from The Other Dude. He's at the club and wants to know if we want to come over for a drink. I call him back, and tell him that it's probably not a good idea, and the hen's were off cackling about yours truly. He tells me "good luck with that" and i hang up. Meanwhile, The Fruit Loop and my date are over in the corner chatting away and playing a game of UNO. I'm thinking to myself that this date is definately a train wreck in progress. I decide it's time to make a last ditch effort and suggest to my date that we should go over to another club (dance club...She likes to dance, i don't) and start over. She agrees. I get this evil little look from the Fruit Loop.
I suddenly have this feeling of impending doom...
OK...Skip ahead to the Club. We order a couple of drinks, and see some mutual friends sitting at a table. We stroll over and say howdy, and start chatting. We are having a nice conversation about this and that. I finally start thinking there is a shred of hope. Then, all of a sudden, almost in mid conversation, she sets her drink down and tells me she's heading out on the dance floor. She knows i don't dance. She knows why. (i have been aware for many years that my dance style is not unlike a wounded swan flailing on a frozen lake). No biggie to her, she just wants to dance, and that's okie dokie with me. So i sit with the group, and have me a few drinks. Over an hour passes. Now i know it's a lost cause.
A friend of mine who is the manager of the club comes up, and tells me he has some friends he would like me to meet. He's a Mason. I am interested in joining. I walk over and meet up with three of the brothers. An impromptu interview takes shape. We discuss the ins-and-outs of the process of joining. I thank them for their time, shake their hands, and wander out on the dance floor to locate my date. (Mainly to see if she bailed out on me.) She's nowhere to be seen. I figure she left. And to be perfectly honest. I wasn't too broke up about the possibility. I step out on the balcony to have a smoke. There she is. Talking to one of her students. I walk up and i get another look.
OK...i give up.
I walk off and go find the group and have another drink. Eventually she finds me sitting at a table talking to a friend. I look at the clock and tell her it's probably time to go. She agrees. We hop in my car and i drive her home. I figure it's time to put the period on the end of the sentence. I apologize for the evening not working out. and tell her that if she want's to forget the whole thing...I understand. She looks at me and tells me she's willing to "give me another shot".
WHAT THE FUCK?!?!
I tell her i would think about it.
Well i have. No way!
You only have to hit me in the head three or four times with a Louisville Slugger before i get it.
Thanks for reading,
thatoneguyinslc