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The gears grind ever so slowly...
Published on May 21, 2006 By thatoneguyinslc In Blogging
Figured it was about time for an update in the hit-and-run case.


A few weeks ago, I recieved my usual pile of subpoenas in the mail. As it stands right now, I have at least a dozen of them. A dozen subpoenas... And I still haven't testified in open court.

I appeared about a month ago for the "official" police lineup. Oh how I looooooove going to the jailhouse for these things. I walk in and meet with the ADA. She tells me to go over to the main counter, and check in with the officer at the desk. I saunter over to the counter, tell him my name, and that i was a witness for a police lineup. The deputy just blankly stares at me and says...

"What?"

I repeated my name, that I was a lineup witness, and that the ADA would confirm who I was. All this moron heard was the word "attorney" and hands me a stack of really official looking papers.

Turns out for some bizarre and yet unexplained reason, he thought i was the Defense Attorney and had given me the Attorney's info packet. Complete with pictures of not only the defendant...but all the other people in the lineup. (For the record, I only glanced at the top cover. I knew something wasn't right ). I hand it back to him and informed him that I was a WITNESS, and didn't understand what all these documents were doing in my hands.

Meanwhile...Deputy Fife suddenly realizes how bad he had fucked up, snatches the papers from my hands, and tells me to have a seat.

I walk back over to the couch where the ADA was sitting, and she asks me what all that was about. I told her the story, and she just starts shaking her head.

The ADA says, "What do you want to bet that dumbass jailer tells the Defense Attorney that you read the whole packet?"

I'm really glad that I didn't take that bet... Not more than a minute later, in walks the Defense weasel. He goes up to the counter and sure as shit... Deputy Fife tells the guy that I had in fact, read the entire info packet. Naturally the weasel informs the ADA that he wasn't about to let me do the lineup. Which I understood and really didn't have a problem with. I'd have done the same thing if were in his shoes. What really pisses me off is that right about then... Deputy FIfe's supervisor shows up and tells him that "He's only human. It was an honest mistake."

I really didn't know what to say. (Which rarely happens. Ask anyone who knows me) Did that just actually happen? WTF??

I bailed on work for the rest of the day, and went home. Landscaping is good therapy when you are feeling a little homicidal.

A few weeks later...I get two more subpoenas and a letter from the court in the mail. One for another lineup, one for a Motion to Dismiss. The letter was a summons for jury duty.

Thanks for reading,
thatoneguyinslc


Comments
on May 21, 2006
*BUMP*
on May 21, 2006

What was the motion to dismiss based on?  They had best not let this perp walk!

But thanks for a very amusing tale!  Sorry for your troubles, but you made it funny!

on May 21, 2006
Boy they are really getting the most out of you. Two summons, and jury duty too? Are you the only dude in Salt Lake County who actually votes or bothers to respond?
on May 21, 2006
Wow you're more patient than I am! I really get irritated when people don't listen to me, and you know that they aren't. You're saying the words, and their eyes are glazed over and they are like a nodding dog...but still nothing goes in! Grrr....thanks for making this story amusing though! Though I'm sure it wasn't for you.
on May 21, 2006
JFC.

"Deputy Fife" should have had his ass handed to him. "Only human" doesn't apply in situations where the ramifications of a fuck up are so monumental.
on May 21, 2006
Wow.  Just wow.  The stupidity of some people never ceases to amaze me.
on May 22, 2006
What was the motion to dismiss based on?


They still haven't told me, but I suspect the Defense wants it on the basis of a "corrupted" witness.

Two summons, and jury duty too? Are you the only dude in Salt Lake County who actually votes or bothers to respond?


I'm beginning to wonder Dave. Too bad that I blew off the jury summons. Being back out on the road and all... I can always claim that "I was outta town"

You're saying the words, and their eyes are glazed over and they are like a nodding dog...


I just keep telling myself that there is a greater purpose at stake here. A man died, and I have to make sure that this guy doesn't walk.

"Deputy Fife" should have had his ass handed to him. "Only human" doesn't apply in situations where the ramifications of a fuck up are so monumental.


That's damn straight Tex. I still cannot believe it actually went down like that. Serve and protect my ass!

Wow. Just wow. The stupidity of some people never ceases to amaze me.


I know Doc. The stupidity is mind numbing!